There’s a kind of pain that’s hard to name. It hides behind polite smiles and well-pressed clothes. It doesn’t scream; it simmers. You show up at church, play the role, serve faithfully, and yet… feel like you’re unraveling in slow motion. This is the pain that Finding Katie brings to the surface. And finally, gives voice to.
In this brave and profoundly honest memoir, author Alix Wiebe introduces us to Katie, a woman who lived most of her life lost in plain sight. Her story isn’t about rebellion or rejection. It’s about overcompliance. About what happens when you’re too good, too obedient, too quiet for too long, and one day, realize you’ve disappeared.
Katie’s life begins in a Christian household with structure, faith, and a firm sense of right and wrong. The early chapters of Finding Katie paint the picture of a little girl who loved Jesus thrived in a church community, and had a strong family unit. But very early on, cracks begin to form. A childhood experience of abuse, subtle, confusing, and never discussed, leaves its mark. The message is clear: some things should never be spoken. Some truths are just too uncomfortable.
As she grows, Katie becomes what every religious community seems to praise: selfless, modest, spiritually disciplined. But her faith becomes fear. Her sense of identity is reduced to a checklist. Good girl. Godly woman. Submissive wife. Silent sufferer. Somewhere along the way, Katie’s vibrant spirit gets traded for survival. She learns how to disappear in ways that are celebrated: overachieving, under-eating, and over-spiritualizing.
Wiebe doesn’t hold back in detailing the toll this takes. We watch as Katie enters a marriage that gradually erodes her voice. Emotional manipulation, religious pressure, and relentless expectations pile on. But she stays. She tries harder. She prays more. She reads all the right books. And still, she loses herself further.
This is not a memoir of overnight change or a single defining moment. It’s the slow, uneven, courageous story of waking up.
Katie’s turning point isn’t a loud explosion. It’s more like a quiet reckoning; the realization that the version of God she’s been serving is not the real one. That the version of herself she’s presenting to the world is a shadow. That playing small and suffering silently aren’t the marks of holiness; they’re the signs of being held hostage.
From that moment on, Finding Katie becomes something more than a memoir. It becomes a roadmap; not for perfection, but for freedom.
Katie starts to question the narratives she was handed. She leaves a marriage that kept her stuck in shame. She confronts long-ignored wounds. She begins therapy. She allows herself to feel, really feel, for the first time in years. And in doing so, she finds something she never thought she’d deserve: herself.
Wiebe’s writing is tender but unapologetically direct. She doesn’t flinch from the hard parts. She shows us Katie’s tears, panic attacks, self-doubt, and repeated failures. She also shows us the quiet victories: saying no for the first time, dressing for comfort rather than approval, laughing without guilt, and embracing joy without justification.
What makes this memoir so powerful is that it doesn’t reject faith; it redeems it. Katie doesn’t walk away from God. She walks away from the version of God she was taught; the one who watched with judgment, not compassion. In her healing, she meets a God who doesn’t demand perfection but offers presence. Who doesn’t guilt her into submission but walks with her into freedom.
Finding Katie is especially relevant in a world where many women are questioning what they’ve been taught about worth, roles, and love. For women raised in religious traditions that prioritized control over connection, silence over truth, and image over identity, this story is a lifeline.
But it’s not just for church girls. It’s for anyone who’s ever felt too broken to be loved. Too messy to be spiritual. Too scared to start over.
Katie’s journey through trauma, addiction, and spiritual gaslighting is achingly familiar. But her courage to begin again, to believe she’s worthy of more, is what makes this story unforgettable.
The truth is, a lot of people won’t talk about what Finding Katie confronts head-on. They won’t talk about how damaging distorted theology can be. How “submission” is often used as a cage. How abuse wears a nice suit and prays loud prayers. How women are taught that love means staying, suffering, and being small.
Alix Wiebe breaks the silence, not to expose, but to set free.
In Katie’s story, we see the cost of disappearing, and the beauty of reclaiming. We learn that boundaries are not rebellion. That healing is not selfish. Leaving what hurts you does not mean leaving God.
By the time you reach the final chapters, you won’t just admire Katie. You’ll feel like she’s given you permission to rethink, to unlearn, to grieve, and to hope.
Because maybe, like Katie, you were never too much. You were just in the wrong story.
And now, like Katie, you can choose a different ending.
